Monday, February 7, 2011


This "path to Peru" has been harder than I thought it would be. Its hard to explain what's so hard about it, but it is. The future is full of unknowns, and we have so little control over any of it. This either causes quite a bit of worry, fear and anxiety or it causes us to trust God more. I know it is a good thing because it is teaching me to trust Him more, but its still hard. Sometimes my worries definitely get the best of me.

A friend who is contemplating going into missions asked me last week if I had any fears about raising my kids in a foreign country...YES! I answered truthfully but didn't elaborate on all the fears swirling in my head...will they be safe in a big city like Lima? will they have a nice place to play outside? where will they go to school? will they become socially awkward? will they even know their grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins? Earthquakes!?! will they learn spanish? will they feel forever out of place? will they be emotionally scarred forever...(welcome to the inside of my head).

I don't know why, but one thing I tend to fret about is the weather. I know its pretty silly, but when we moved here from the DR the weather was the biggest culprit in my "culture shock". I was always cold, and I missed the sun! Not just for the warmth but for the color! For how beautiful the sun makes everything look. Winter is so gray. Oh how I longed (and still long) for this:

Lucy and I enjoying breakfast on the beach
In Lima, they have a little thing I keep reading about called "garua", which in my understanding is a thick, wet, gray, fog that hangs over the city for about half of the year. Half of the year. Last week I was really suffering from mid-winter blues, bad. I wanted to see some beauty! I was so sick of the gray. This led to some real anxiety (and perhaps a little temper tantrum) about this so-called "garua" in Lima. (Why God? Couldn't you make Lima a little warmer, possibly a tropical climate, some pretty mountains, a great beach, no fog?) Out came my photos of the DR and I began my trip down Pity Lane.

But God was so gentle with me. He could have taught me the lesson that I so obviously needed to learn in many ways, but the way He decided to teach me made me love Him even more. Here's what he taught me and how.

I was looking at the photos, and they were so beautiful. God created so much beauty there, and he allowed me to live there for almost eight years! What a privilege! I remember being really scared about going to the DR, and have a funny memory from our first couple weeks there of making a pro/con list (stay or go), because we were struggling so much. The con list was long and the only thing on the pro side (that i remember) was that we believed God brought us there. We are so glad that we stayed.  It was sooo good. What blessings God gave us there. It was really hard too (it wasnt all beaches and palm trees) but even the painful stuff was good because of how we grew.

View from our front porch

Me and Lucy, hanging out in the hammock

The next day the sun came out. Perfectly clear, blue sky. I snapped these two photos with my phone from the car on my way home from taking Lucy to school.

Mt. St. Helens

Mt. Hood
Isn't it gorgeous?  I seriously don't have any right to complain about some gray cloudy days when I've got that looking at me once the clouds clear. God has been good to us here too. REALLY good to us. We have been blessed in some pretty awesome ways.

God has been good to me all of my life-what reason do I have to worry that that will change now?

I know that God is good. He loves me, and He can be trusted with my life.  I can trust Him to provide for us financially, and I can trust him to help me find beauty and joy even when its foggy. I can trust Him with my kids. I trust that He knows what He's doing, that Peru will be good, even when its hard. Because God is good and He loves me. I can't believe that I sometimes forget that!


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